Consciousness

So I disappeared for a time as I went on a journey to find myself.  I, recently, separated from my ex-husband who I was still dating. Long story.  Ok, I have time, I’ll tell it.  We separated then got a divorce then reconciled after our divorce was final. Then broke up again.

I have only a few words to say about that whole ordeal…

I’m glad to be free.

Free to be me. Free to think. Free to fly!  My ex-husband wasn’t horrible but we weren’t on the same wavelength. He is conscious too, I guess you would say. Probably before I became conscious. But we still don’t think and act the same. And when that is occurring for someone who is so creative and a person who takes action, it can be exhausting…like you’re carrying dead weight along with you on your journey.  I need to be able to SOAR!

I have always been a girl then later a woman who thought about things on a deeper level. Earlier this year, around June 2014, I found many African-American groups on FB that I didn’t know existed. I quickly joined about 20 groups and delved into a whole new World that I had always been looking for…before I knew I was looking for it.

Let me start at the beginning.  Earlier this year, I decided I needed to find more like-minded people. People who thought like me. I had watched Hidden Colors and was starting to really awaken.

As I began to awaken, I was increasingly becoming frustrated with the lack of real knowledge on my Facebook NewsFeed. I felt like I was wasting my time on a medium that didn’t offer much for me.

Then, one day, I stumbled upon the groups. I remember being on the phone with my sister and she was asked, “You didn’t know about this?”

Yes and no.

The last time I had ventured into FB Groups, I was separated from my ex. I created a group to talk about relationships, children, etc. That was about 3 years ago. I was in the groups for a few months then slowly moved away from them as they begin to no longer serve their purpose for me. I still have that group and kept it open for people who continued to enjoy the group. One day, I would like to close it though and move on from that Chapter in my life.

Out of sight, out of mind and I forgot about FB Groups.

Now, 3 years later, I stumbled across the groups again. I knew about FB Groups but I never saw them as anything meaningful. I always thought they would be a waste of my time. But, suddenly, I was all-seeing and realizing that the groups I was looking at were meaningful and were connecting the people I had been looking for.

I was home.

I wasn’t in the groups long before I knew I would be creating my own group.  Maybe a few days later, Black Emancipation Coalition was born.

It all started from a post.

Someone posted this post that said they wanted to be a part of an African organization that really stood for something and really helped the African people.

Everyone took off from there in the comments with their ideas and what they wanted and how it could be accomplished. I was, also, in those comments.

The comments went on and on but when it was time to take action.  Silence.

I could feel the energy of my People and I REFUSED to sit there and let our dreams die in that post.

After asking who was going to get the organization started and hearing no response, I created my second FB Group…Black Emancipation Coalition, also known as, BEC.

The experience was rough in the beginning…I might go into that more later. But as things settled down, I began to continue my education of Consciousness, African History and so on.

So this is the beginning of my journey. I know where I am headed and where I need to go. I just hope I see you all there with me.

Let’s go!

Adversity

Mostly through adversity, do you really learn who you are. You will learn your likes and dislikes, your tolerance level and your limits. But, most of all, you will learn your weaknesses and the true depth of your strength. As humans, we are naturally designed to survive. And you will notice that you only become stronger after each fight, after you have overcome the struggle. They may have won the battle, but you are a fighter and a survivor and you will win the war.

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Disturbed (In Dreams)

Love and fairy tales,
Christmas and dreams,
Where in life, we’re nothing,
And nothing’s what it seems,
We pretend we’re living,
When, in reality, we’re dead,
We pretend we’re feeling,
But no tears we ever shed,

Close your eyes,
And see black,
No past, no present, no future,
Only darkness,
No light, no pictures, no sound,
Inevitably woven sutures,

We’re alive like animals in the night,
Through this plight,
We consider a “life”,
In truth, the funeral of meaningful experiences,
Well doomed forever in eternity,
Where heads have laid to rest.

By: Samantha Dawson

Trust

“I trust people until they give me a reason not to.”. This is my philosophy on trust. I believe people believe in you more when you come at them, giving them the benefit of the doubt.

My girl friend told me not to. She said I need to stop that. Stop trusting people, she said. That’s a foreign concept to me. I am, naturally, a trusting person. I always have been. I believe that’s why people have always liked me. My trusting them is a way of saying, “I believe in you. I know you’re a good person and you can start with a fresh slate with me”.

However, once people cross that line with me and break my trust, I’m done. I do give people several chances to make mistakes because we’re all human. But, everyone “has a limit” and when I reach mine, I know that I can’t deal with that person anymore. He or she no longer has my trust and depending on the situation, he/she might be able to regain my trust back.

But, I can never be that person who walks around with my guard up 24/7. I’m a city girl so I know which situations to stay away from and I’m far from naive. But, I’m pretty happy for the most part and chill. And I, genuinely, like people. My friends have always told me that I am a “people person” and I guess I am. I like to have fun with the best of them but I can, also, sympathize with others and be there for them. I like getting to know people, opening up to them and having them feel safe enough to open up to me. I like learning about people. Their different ideas and cultures, their different personalities and why do they do the things that they do. I believe we grow and mature more with more knowledge and experiences. I’m always learning and gaining new experiences. I can’t do that if I simply talk to the same people and have my guard up around everyone else.

Life is not worth living if I can’t open up my heart and trust other human beings. We are all on this Earth struggling to make it and if it’s ever my time to go then that is God’s will.

I love thy neighbor and I will continue to live in love and walk in the light. May God continue to watch over me and protect me because He knows my heart.

Until next time….

<3 Sammii.

First Leg and Brazilian Wax

I got my my first leg and Brazilian wax today and it wasn’t too bad. The legs hurt some and I only got the lower half. Getting the hair off my vagina was SO painful. The woman who did my wax is named Tina at Skin and Wax Spa of Springfield, VA and she was nice. She wasn’t very warm. She seems a little standoffish and preoccupied with her thoughts. And maybe it was just me but she seemed uncomfortable around me which made me uncomfortable. I was already scared of what was going to happen to me. I didn’t need the wax lady to be acting weird too. Nevertheless, she did a phenomenal job. :-). She said I had a great texture of hair which should yield wonderful results so we’ll see. I love the way it looks. I’ll be going back to her again for another wax and, maybe, check out some of her other services.

I’m Back!!!! :)

I must admit, I have been afraid to write my first blog entry since being gone for so long. It’s been about 2 years since I submitted my last blog entry. Two years! And, boy, has a lot happened. I separated from my sons’ father but we’re still friends. I have lost about 20 lbs. and I’m still working at it. I have become more active in my church. I’m the Secretary/Treasurer of the Military Ministry. My sons are almost taller than me! SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED! LOL. But, while I have been afraid to write again (I didn’t know what to say)….a voice said “be honest”. Duh, right? Why didn’t I think of that…LOL. I was thinking of all these great entries I should write. What’s the latest fashion trend? My second 30 Day Challenge….I didn’t finish the first one. :-( And the list goes on and on. I wanted to write something witty and amazing. But, I realized, my life is witty and amazing. Through all my good and bad…and there was a lot of bad…I’m still here. So sit back, relax and get ready to be entertained in this crazy World of Life with Sammii! :-)

Pamper Yourself….You DESERVE It!

Women wear SO many hats.  We are mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, daughters, employees and we’re expected to wear all of our hats with grace.  I have to admit, sometimes it gets to be too much!

I just recently published an article about how women should handle themselves in Corporate America.  Did you feel overwhelmed reading it?  I felt overwhelmed writing it….LOL.  Now it’s time to let your hair down and do something for YOU!  You already know you deserve it.  You don’t even have to have anyone tell you that you do.  You KNOW you do!  Just go DO YOU! 

Get your nails done every week…why not….you paid your bills so go treat yourself.  Don’t buy the kids something else they DON’T need with YOUR nail money.  Just saying.  Go ahead and be selfish sometimes.  Men are.  The kids definitely are.  Now YOU are too!

Get your hair done.  Get a new dress or new slacks.  Your man won’t take you out?  Get dressed up and dance the night away with your girls!  When you LOOK good, you FEEL good then you can wear your several hats even more effortlessly. :)

How I want to pamper myself?  I was recently looking at luxury cars.  I’m ready to upgrade my ride and tool around town in style!  Why not?  I work super hard…all day, every day while trying to juggle my relationship, my kids’ committments, my higher education, my career…and sometimes…I forget who I am or where I fall on the list.  I haven’t gotten my feet or hair done in months.  However, I have been holding off purchasing anything too large because I’m enjoying my financial freedom.

Nevertheless, do what works for you.  Remember that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.  And you can’t question that you’ll look and feel more awesome in those boardroom meetings or while at work, calling the shots. 

Go ahead!  Pamper yourself….You deserve it!!!

Peace! :D